Monday, May 24, 2010

If I had biked...



Today I am giving one of my final exams, but I dressed pretty casually because I had planned to bike to school with the DOT's NYC Bike Month guided group. I live in central Brooklyn, but teach in midtown. It's about 10 miles, which is not a big deal, but I am kind of scare of navigating downtown Brooklyn and very lower Manhattan. I fell asleep relatively early but this morning, I got an email from a colleague who wanted a phone meeting earlier than I'd hoped, so I had to hop a train instead (I found this out AFTER I was dressed). Oh well, utilitarian outfit. I'll use you another day, when I am less scared and more prepared.

I had a great time in Delaware. We actually spent quite a bit of time in Philly, since the college town my buddies live in is quite boring (it doesn't feel like the edgier college towns in the midwest, like Madison, Urbana-Champagne, or Lincoln, NE. These towns have their own arty, hippie vibes that this town lacked. Maybe it's just different out East). I really really liked Philly, which I haven't been in as an adult. Cute neighborhoods, nice coffee, well planned developments (like in North Liberty). Folks were super nice, especially to the kids. So much for that stereotype.
But since this is a style blog, one of the things (among many) that we talked about this weekend was the difference between clothes shopping for little kids in the US v. Sweden. My friends had been living in Sweden for the first year and half of their first child's life, but then moved to the East Coast. They were dismayed at how gendered the little kid's clothing was, especially the shoes. I found this out when going to Target/Payless (my mom believed in only buying growing feet cheap shoes) to pick up shoes for my kid sister years ago. There were all these pointy little high heels everywhere, and then some sparkly sneakers. I am not saying all high heels or sparkles are bad, but rather it's amazing how the American market* gives you little choice in the matter. At mass retailers, they said that the choices for girl's shorts were all super short, and shirts are all sleeveless. But in Sweden, children's clothes are basically androgenous until the age that secondary sex characteristics start to develop (10-12 for girls? Maybe 13-15 for boys?). Even then, there is choice between very girly and less girly outfits. Since this is what they value, my friends bought their pre-schooler boys clothes.


(Maybe you can't see well, but she is wearing Einstein's face with his tongue sticking out)

I mention this because the blogosphere was buzzing over this infamous Instyle magazine cover a few months ago about Shiloh Jolie Pitt's style, which is very tomboyish.
The fact that this became an magazine cover doesn't mean that all Americans are obsessed with normative gender socialization, but that fact that retailers seem to think this way is pretty telling.

The Swedes told me that folks come up to them and say things like "Why does your son have long hair?" or "How come your son is wearing a pink hat?" Someone even got angry once for their failure to adhere to gender norms. While my friends don't care if a stranger correctly identifies their daughter's gender, I found it interesting that other people cared about this pre-schooler's performance of gender. Very strange. (I do know that it is difficult to buy baby clothes that are neutrally colored. A friend of mine told me that the purple organic cotton onesie I gave her daughter was the only non-pink article of clothing she received. Colleagues of mine told no one the gender of their child before his birth to avoid an influx of blue items).

Has this been your experience as well? If you're not American, are there norms of dressing children in ways that emphasize their gender?

*That the brilliant clip-on pacifier on the toddler's pink owl shirt (from H&M) is made by a Swedish company and not available here. Everyone in town is jealous of this clip on chained binky. The dad claimed that the idea that free markets in the US provide everything that consumers need is suspect. "Swedish social capitalism, baby!" was his rallying cry.
(I learned a few Swedish words since the kids speak both, like bunny rabbit, stupid, and piss. Ah, the company of young children).

10 comments:

  1. It's making me sweat just looking at you lady! Cold snap out east?

    So interesting about the kiddie clothes choices ... not terribly surprising, though, since U.S. culture is so terrified of androgyny overall.

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  2. lovely post.

    everyone here in the UK thinks my 6 month old niece is a boy cos we dress her cool. today i bought a her baby sized man-type dress shirts shirts. (for 20p at the charity shop)

    apparently this is a dutch thing -- we like bright colors not pastels on babies (and everyone else).

    in east africa, there is no gender connotation with pink. so anyone wears pink.

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  3. I don't have much contact with kids (yet) so I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's pretty difficult in the UK to find non-pink girls clothes, at least at the cheaper end of the market. And little girls LOVE it apparently. I don't think the association of blue and boys is as strong though.

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  4. Yeah, what's up with the weather there? It's 85 and super humid here, so I can't imagine wearing a coat or pants right now!

    I think what's interesting about the color thing is that it really doesn't matter once you're not a baby. I wear blue all the time but still manage to be pretty feminine, and men can wear pink and not necessarily be perceived as less manly because of it.

    I do think a lot of parents put a little too much stock into people correctly guessing what gender their baby is. My mom went so far as to tape hairbows on my head before I had enough hair to pull back, presumably so people would know I was a girl.

    I can't really relate since I don't have kids, but people think Jude is a female dog all the time, and that doesn't bother me. I'd hope I would be the same with actual children.

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  5. I don't shop for kids clothing very often, but it is a shame that we push gender roles at such a young age. Bright colors are so much fun, so when I do buy baby gifts it is disappointing when the only choices are pastels.

    I think Angelina Jolie's daughter looks cute and comfortable in that picture.

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  6. interesting. I never really think about kids clothes as I kidless and don't have friends with kids. It would make sense though, about kids clothes in Sweden being androgenous.

    What does that say about the place/importance placed on conforming to gender roles in Sweden- as compared to the importance of conforming to Gender roles in the US. Or rather what does that say about the ideals being pushed on us?

    heheh like the speech I am just dying over in Vivre Sa Vie...

    we think we have choices- many choices, we can buy what we want,eat what we like, dress how we like, raise our children how we want... but if we really take the time to look at it how much choice do we really have- when what is avaialable to us is being directed by other people/interests? I don't have any solid ideas abou this- it is just something interesting to think about.

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  7. You look great!

    The gender anxiety that adults project onto children really bothers me. I have been thinking about this a lot lately, in part because of the tabloid reaction to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. I was reminded about this article I read last year about a couple who is masking the gender of their child. See blow:

    http://www.doublex.com/blog/xxfactor/swedes-raise-gender-free-child

    Speaking of retailer obsession with normative gender socialization and materiality, I become so livid when I see inappropriate infant onesies that project heteronormative misogynistic values onto kids. For example, the "lock up your daughters" one that has been occasionally sported by infant boys thanks to eager parents who want to apparently raise a creepy cad who is so disrespectful to women that you actually have to sequester them for their own safety. Gross. Gross. Gross. I also dislike to a less extreme degree any "funny" message onesie so I am predisposed to react strongly to them.

    For some infuriating examples:
    http://www.kitsel.com/baby-boy-onesies.html

    Also a bummer:
    http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/cbb/2008/01/23/p10_3_2.jpg

    Like is it that big a deal if people don't immediately start to put your kid into a "strong" box if they're a cismale or a "pretty, delicate" box if they're a cisfemale?

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  8. I think when I have babies they will be wearing a lot of green and yellow, unless I can figure out a reason to move to Sweden!

    The Shiloh issue hits close to home for me because I "dressed like a boy" and had short hair from about ages 8-12. I often wonder the degree to which this was my choice vs. the degree to which it was a result of my mom not being "girly" and having no interest in teaching me to be "girly." But I think I've turned out fine, even though my 5th grade classmates still remind me that our principal called me "son" in front of the whole class.

    The caption on the magazine is interesting, too- suggesting that Angelina is "turning" Shiloh into a boy is quite presumptuous. I've also seen that certain media outlets and blogs like to get on Angelina's case about letting Zahara's hair go "wild," which seems to me to be an attempt at masking the suggestion that a white woman "has no business" adopting an African child. (The assumption being, I guess, that a black woman would never dare to let her daughter wear her hair that way?)

    To get back to the topic, though, my friend has a baby and shops for her almost exclusively on etsy. This allows her a lot more options than you'd find at chain retailers, and she feels better about buying from independent merchants who create the types of clothes she wants her daugther to wear. I bet they have clippy pacifiers on there, too!

    -Liz

    ReplyDelete
  9. interesting. I never really think about kids clothes as I kidless and don't have friends with kids. It would make sense though, about kids clothes in Sweden being androgenous.

    What does that say about the place/importance placed on conforming to gender roles in Sweden- as compared to the importance of conforming to Gender roles in the US. Or rather what does that say about the ideals being pushed on us?

    heheh like the speech I am just dying over in Vivre Sa Vie...

    we think we have choices- many choices, we can buy what we want,eat what we like, dress how we like, raise our children how we want... but if we really take the time to look at it how much choice do we really have- when what is avaialable to us is being directed by other people/interests? I don't have any solid ideas abou this- it is just something interesting to think about.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think when I have babies they will be wearing a lot of green and yellow, unless I can figure out a reason to move to Sweden!

    The Shiloh issue hits close to home for me because I "dressed like a boy" and had short hair from about ages 8-12. I often wonder the degree to which this was my choice vs. the degree to which it was a result of my mom not being "girly" and having no interest in teaching me to be "girly." But I think I've turned out fine, even though my 5th grade classmates still remind me that our principal called me "son" in front of the whole class.

    The caption on the magazine is interesting, too- suggesting that Angelina is "turning" Shiloh into a boy is quite presumptuous. I've also seen that certain media outlets and blogs like to get on Angelina's case about letting Zahara's hair go "wild," which seems to me to be an attempt at masking the suggestion that a white woman "has no business" adopting an African child. (The assumption being, I guess, that a black woman would never dare to let her daughter wear her hair that way?)

    To get back to the topic, though, my friend has a baby and shops for her almost exclusively on etsy. This allows her a lot more options than you'd find at chain retailers, and she feels better about buying from independent merchants who create the types of clothes she wants her daugther to wear. I bet they have clippy pacifiers on there, too!

    -Liz

    ReplyDelete