If I had biked...

Today I am giving one of my final exams, but I dressed pretty casually because I had planned to bike to school with the DOT's NYC Bike Month guided group. I live in central Brooklyn, but teach in midtown. It's about 10 miles, which is not a big deal, but I am kind of scare of navigating downtown Brooklyn and very lower Manhattan. I fell asleep relatively early but this morning, I got an email from a colleague who wanted a phone meeting earlier than I'd hoped, so I had to hop a train instead (I found this out AFTER I was dressed). Oh well, utilitarian outfit. I'll use you another day, when I am less scared and more prepared.

I had a great time in Delaware. We actually spent quite a bit of time in Philly, since the college town my buddies live in is quite boring (it doesn't feel like the edgier college towns in the midwest, like Madison, Urbana-Champagne, or Lincoln, NE. These towns have their own arty, hippie vibes that this town lacked. Maybe it's just different out East). I really really liked Philly, which I haven't been in as an adult. Cute neighborhoods, nice coffee, well planned developments (like in North Liberty). Folks were super nice, especially to the kids. So much for that stereotype.
But since this is a style blog, one of the things (among many) that we talked about this weekend was the difference between clothes shopping for little kids in the US v. Sweden. My friends had been living in Sweden for the first year and half of their first child's life, but then moved to the East Coast. They were dismayed at how gendered the little kid's clothing was, especially the shoes. I found this out when going to Target/Payless (my mom believed in only buying growing feet cheap shoes) to pick up shoes for my kid sister years ago. There were all these pointy little high heels everywhere, and then some sparkly sneakers. I am not saying all high heels or sparkles are bad, but rather it's amazing how the American market* gives you little choice in the matter. At mass retailers, they said that the choices for girl's shorts were all super short, and shirts are all sleeveless. But in Sweden, children's clothes are basically androgenous until the age that secondary sex characteristics start to develop (10-12 for girls? Maybe 13-15 for boys?). Even then, there is choice between very girly and less girly outfits. Since this is what they value, my friends bought their pre-schooler boys clothes.

(Maybe you can't see well, but she is wearing Einstein's face with his tongue sticking out)

I mention this because the blogosphere was buzzing over this infamous Instyle magazine cover a few months ago about Shiloh Jolie Pitt's style, which is very tomboyish.

source

The fact that this became an magazine cover doesn't mean that all Americans are obsessed with normative gender socialization, but that fact that retailers seem to think this way is pretty telling.

The Swedes told me that folks come up to them and say things like "Why does your son have long hair?" or "How come your son is wearing a pink hat?" Someone even got angry once for their failure to adhere to gender norms. While my friends don't care if a stranger correctly identifies their daughter's gender, I found it interesting that other people cared about this pre-schooler's performance of gender. Very strange. (I do know that it is difficult to buy baby clothes that are neutrally colored. A friend of mine told me that the purple organic cotton onesie I gave her daughter was the only non-pink article of clothing she received. Colleagues of mine told no one the gender of their child before his birth to avoid an influx of blue items).

Has this been your experience as well? If you're not American, are there norms of dressing children in ways that emphasize their gender?

*That the brilliant clip-on pacifier on the toddler's pink owl shirt (from H&M) is made by a Swedish company and not available here. Everyone in town is jealous of this clip on chained binky. The dad claimed that the idea that free markets in the US provide everything that consumers need is suspect. "Swedish social capitalism, baby!" was his rallying cry.

(I learned a few Swedish words since the kids speak both, like bunny rabbit, stupid, and piss. Ah, the company of young children).